The Beginning

First of all, welcome to our story of Faith-Faith Marie. Let me warn you before we get started that I am not a 'writer'...the Lord has simply placed things on my heart to share with all of you. Now that you have been forewarned, thank you so much for choosing to be part of our journey. We have heard from so many of you and have been deeply touched by your prayers. Whether or not we have met you face to face, you are in my daily prayers of gratitude for standing in the gap for us. When we have been too weak or sad, it is nice to know we have an army of prayer warriors keeping us lifted. I cannot begin to express my deepest thanks. I was humbled this weekend to hear that our Baby Faith has reached the San Antonio police department, Dallas, California, and even as far as Canada. This blog is for you-the countless number of faces we have met and those we haven't. Friends and family have asked us for specific prayer requests and for updates. Hopefully this blog will help us keep everyone informed of what is happening and how to pray specifically for steps along this journey. Again I thank you for holding us up in prayer-it is truly the only way we are still breathing.

So let's start at the beginning. I am LaTisha and I will do my best to pass on information and prayer requests. The Lord has placed insights into His heart day and night, mostly night! I am selfishly hoping I will be able to sleep through the night again by sharing all He has for us during these next few months. I'm married to Shawn, my tender-hearted, God-given strong husband. He has such a heart for the Lord and His family. Hopefully that will show over these written words. We have been married for almost 4 busy and wonderful years. We also have our walking and talking (in paragraphs) 3 year old miracle, Jackson. I'm sure I'll be sharing more about them later...

Shawn and I found out we were pregnant with our second child at the end of March. I had just returned from a women's retreat (God's timing being perfect, as always) when I saw the double pink lines. We were elated and sure the timing was perfect. With a December 15 due date, we would have our Christmas baby and a sibling for Jackson. The first 5 months were pretty rough. I had a difficult time with nausea and keeping food down...all the while trying to enjoy the last few months I would be a mommy of 1. I had begun progesterone shots to help me carry this baby longer than I was able to carry Jackson (he was a little more than 6 weeks premature). We were looking forward to welcoming another miracle to our family, but were also aware that Jackson's life was about to change. We had no idea how much!

We knew Jackson had a hole in his heart while we were pregnant with him (more about that later), so my OB decided to send us to a perinatologist for our 20 week ultrasound. Mom kept Jackson at home while Shawn and I went to find out if we were going to be blessed with a brother or sister for Jackson. Truth be known, I was hoping for bows. Shawn was already preparing himself for the onslaught of pink, rhinestones, and ribbons. As we waited in the waiting room, I made a comprehensive list of our family history-including Jackson's medical issues and our extended family. Why would I make a list of those things when we had no indication there was anything wrong?? Now I know what I didn't know then...the Lord had already begun working.


We were finally called back to the dark and quiet ultrasound room. The nurse set us up and hardly had time to begin her scan when Dr. Adam, our perinatologist, walked in to take over. Dr. Adam, we later found out, is highly respected in Houston and I know that the Lord placed us in her caring hands. She isn't known for her soft side as much as her intelligence, but Shawn and I were about to be some of the few that know her gentle side. In what seemed less than 30 seconds of her beginning the ultrasound, Dr. Adam asked if we had had any previous scans. I knew then this was not headed in the right direction. The dark, quiet room became still with our anticipation. After I gathered my breath, I told her our last ultrasound was at 10 weeks. She then looked me straight in the eye and told us, "I'm so sorry I am going to break your hearts today." I bust out into tears, Shawn bowed his head, and we clung to each other as she shattered our dreams of bringing home a beautiful, healthy Christmas baby. I became almost robotic in asking questions, from the silly to the unimaginable, trying to wrap my mind around what was happening. Dr. Adam quickly recommended we do an amniocentesis, blood-work, and all kinds of genetic testing. We agreed and then were escorted through some back rooms (not wanting to parade our swollen, red faces in front of the hopeful mommies and daddies in the waiting room) to our genetic counselor. Sandra, our God-given genetic counselor, led us through the ins and outs of what was happening with our little one. If you are reading this, thank you Sandra for all you have done and continue to do for us and our Baby Faith. You have been an answer to our prayers!

We were in complete shock and I know the Lord used it to protect us from the diagnosis we couldn't handle. I apologize for the following being detailed and graphic, but I know some of you truly want to pray specifically for our baby girl. We learned from the tests that day that Faith has a neural tube (brain) defect, an omphalocele, and holes in her heart. We now have a new vocabulary that I hope and pray no parent should ever have to learn. However, we are so grateful for all the intelligent doctors taking time to explain every detail to us. Faith's neural tube defect happened before we ever knew we were pregnant. Basically, her brain never fully developed. She has only a brain stem which regulates her heartbeat, breathing, and reflex movement (and, oh boy, does she move!). An omphalocele is where her liver and possibly some of her intestines did not enter the abdomen. They are on the outside, not the inside. She also has holes between the chambers in her heart. All the doctors have agreed that her abnormalities are not 'compatible with life.' According to the doctors, Faith may pass from this world into the next at any time-in utero, at birth, or after a few short hours of life.

As I am sure you have figured out, we learned that week that our precious angel baby is a girl. We decided to name her Faith because that is what we cling to daily and no other name described her or her journey more beautifully. Her middle name is Marie after my mom, Mary, and Shawn's mom, Diane Marie. We decided she needs the strength of her name to help guide her (and us). I have been wanting to begin this blog for weeks, but I am trusting that the Lord's timing is perfect...more perfect than my own. We have been trying to learn how to live with and digest this news over the past 5 weeks. There have been so many emotions, blessings (yes, blessings), and lessons God has shared with me. I think I might finally have the strength to share them with you through this blog...

I am fully aware of Faith's prognosis by our very smart doctors. BUT, I also know my Jesus. He could heal her in a breath if that is part of His will. Of course we are praying for healing, but even more so are praying that the Lord's name be glorified through our journey with Faith. Shawn and I have come to rest knowing we have been chosen by God Himself to be Faith Marie's parents. I also believe each of you have been chosen to share this journey with us. Thank you, again, for loving on us with your prayers and support...

With much gratitude and love,
LaTisha