Lifted

I have been wanting to post for a while to let you know what your prayers have done for us! Between Jackson being sick, work, and Holiday prep, we have been a bit busy and I have fallen asleep the moment I sat down.

I have thought about you all so often this week and last. Jackson had viral pneumonia last week and we had many sleepless nights. I knew during the dark hours we were  not alone-I knew you were all standing with us. It has been that way through much of these past months. I have trusted what I cannot see, leaned upon what I cannot touch, and listened for His voice when everything was silent. Your prayers continue to lift us and carry us through...I cannot thank you enough!!

Our family welcomes Christmas the first weekend in November (actually the day after Halloween!). Yes, we are part of the crazies that love to hear Christmas Carols, see the trees, and marvel at all the sparkling lights and decorations. I have always felt the magic of Christmas, mostly because my mom and dad made it so special when we were younger. I love seeing everything look prettier and shine a little brighter. I've always enjoyed things looking pretty and seeming magical. My sister calls me a 'bow person.' I like to see and help others see the brighter side of situations. Reality at times is a little too harsh and bows make it sweeter, a little more manageable. For the past few weeks I have been at a loss for my bows. I haven't been able to see the bright colors and sparkles. I have been stuck in the reality pool of empty cradles, death certificates, and dead flowers.

BUT....last week something lifted! I carried a heavy load for 40 days and, magically, something lifted. I firmly believe it was your prayers at work! The first day I felt lighter, I kept waiting for the weight to return. By the third day I was claiming it-God was working! He was lifting the grief to let me see the joy-to let me see the sparkles and bows. While there have been rough moments these past two weeks, the weight seems lighter. Have I told you thank you for the prayers? They are working!!

The beginning of this Christmas season has been a little different in our house. There is joy and sweetness that I haven't felt before. There is also a bit of sadness. Jackson saw the Christmas decorations and began to think that Faith was coming home. He thought since it was Christmas-time, he would get to hold her. It was heartbreaking to explain to him that she would never come home. She now lives in Heaven with Jesus. A few days later, he understood. We were driving to school and Jackson said, "Mommy, Faith is not coming to our house for Christmas, right? She won't come to my house. Faith has a Heaven House. Thank you, Jesus, for Heaven House." Oh thank You, indeed! He has found a way to understand where his sister is and where she will be until we are with her again. With all the hard moments we have had explaining to Jackson the permanency of Faith living in Heaven, there has been an unexplained release of joy.

I see our 3 year old baby boy growing to understand parts of Heaven. I see Jackson learning to appreciate the reason behind the bows and sparkles. I see him looking beyond Santa to Jesus. I see him learning to love fully with his whole heart. Yes, this season is magical and will be a Christmas full of emotions, but it will also be a season that we will hold each other a bit tighter and love each other a little more. God has been so, so good to us. Silent Nights will be a little more precious, Jingle bells will ring clearly, and our Little Drummer boy will play his song a little louder. This will be a season to remember and I look forward to sharing it with all of you.

Thank you again for lifting us up to Him who can heal. We depend on it daily since tomorrow still frightens us at times. You are what we are thankful for today!

With a heart full of gratitude,
L